100 Issues for 100 Days: #92

#92: Thank You For Being a Friend


I know I bitch and I whine. I have issues. But I also have great friends. These past few weeks I've had the opportunity to really appreciate what that means. Sometimes that just means a phone call or a good hearty laugh. Other times it's just someone who understands your frustrations.

It's been hard moving to a new place but I definitely feel like I have the people around me who support me. And then there's the old friends who call just to say, "hey".

So to all my people out there. Thank you for being a friend. Cause God knows I need them.

100 Issues for 100 Days #74

#74: Traveling Man

Sometimes the only way for me to think is to get away from home. I've always been a traveler. In the summer, my mom would send me down to North Carolina to stay with my great-grandparents. While I know now that it was her way of taking a break from me, I thank her immensely because those summers were the best of my life. I got to spend time with my wonderful great-grandfather, Granddaddy Bud. We would sneak past my Grandma Rose and snag ice cream sandwiches. He'd let me steer his huge truck. And I'd sit in the swing behind the house and just relax and wait for dinner. The best thing was that anything that was happening back in NY didn't matter because I couldn't do anything about it.

Now, the same rules apply. Getting out of town means taking a break. I can't worry about the laundry that needs to be done because I can't do it. I don't have to struggle with what I should be doing. This weekend I'm on hiatus. I'm traveling. I'll still update but that's the ony commitment I'm sticking to.

100 Issues for 100 Days: #47

#47: First Fridays

First Fridays are the night when I get to experience Oakland and it's over-21 denizens for free. Tonight, I hung out at Oakland Art Murmur, a basic free for all of art, booze and crunchy Oakland types.

The thing I like about First Fridays, is that it's also the night when I run into people I know. Similar to going to Kings Plaza in Brooklyn, there's no way I can go out on a Frist Friday and not run into someone I know. It makes me feel like I'm a part of this community.

I saw some great art tonight as well and if I had an extra $100-$600, I would have gladly purchased some paintings or sculptures. The other good thing was meeting friends of friends. As I continue to try to "expand my social circle", it's good tht I meet more people. I might be attending a Shabbat pretty soon. And I love latkes :)

100 Issues for 100 Days: #46

#46: Hot Mess

Top 3 Things that are a Hot Mess

#3 - My Apartment
Every single week I tell myself I'm going to clean up and it doesn't happen. I have things I need to mail buried under papers that need to be thrown out and it's officially, a hot mess.

#2 - My Love Life (a.k.a. The Lack Thereof)
I'm really unexcited about dating right now. I want to but I've found no one even remotely interesting. There's not even anyone to fantasize about lately. It's just disappointing.

#1 - The World
The past couple of weeks I haven't had the time to read the news regularly but the stories that have trickled in have been ultimately depressing. A 16-year old honor student who is beaten to death by people his age, hundreds of people killed in an earthquake in Indonesia and an apparent arsonist that is terrorizing Oakland. It seems like every day, there's more that proves just how much of a hot mess everything is.

100 Issues for 100 Days :#14

#14: Lazy Hazy Crazy Days

One thing I love and hate about Northern California during this time of the year is the weather. This is when the summer is really kicking up. The past few days have been 80-90+ degrees and absolutely gorgeous. The problem is that it's so incongruous with what's happening around you. School starts about nine hours from now and if I want to be at the beach, I can only imagine how the kids feel.

It's also tempting to spend your time outside of work at the bar or restaurants a.k.a. spending money. My solution to that is usually to stay inside. Today, I watched about 3 movies and twisted my hair, which is an all-day activity. But I would have loved being on a beach. So school starts tomorrow and summer is officially over ... and I'm already looking forward to the beginning of summer again.

100 Issues for 100 Days :#13

#13 Real Food

Today I went to the Eat Real festival at Jack London Square in Oakland. Initially, I wasn't even sure if I would go. My friend Ashely had invited me to volunteer at the festival and since I knew that I couldn't commit to that, I decided not to make any plans. But this morning, I knew I wanted to check it out and I'm so glad I did.

The idea behind the festival is to showcase affordable and good for you street food as well as staging cooking demonstrations and contests. All the food plates were under $5 and there were also plenty of free samples. I spent under $20 and I was there from 2 p.m until 9 pm. The majority of my money was spent on beer but I still managed to have plenty of free samples by spending time with the brewers and learning about the different types of beer and how to make them.

I tried some raw milk and learned about the benefits of it. I also tried some delicious plums and great jams and olive oils. I got to watch two sets of butchers go head to head and break down an entire quarter of beef. And the best thing about it (other than all the free beer) was that I got to see where my food started out and where it ended up. Everything was fresh (and delicious) and most importantly, I knew where it came from and even got to meet the people who farmed it.

It was nice to know that the food i ate didn't have to be expensive to be good. The one plate of food that I purchased cost $5 and it was a plate of collard greens and ribs with a sample of catfish. I was completely full the whole day and buzzed for about 90% of it. I don't know if these Eat Real festivals will continue throughout the nation but they should. We've moved so far away from our farms to our tables that we don't know what's good for us and what's bad. It was nice to reconnect but what was even nicer was to be full and not break the bank.

The Weight of the World

This week has not been a good one for Oakland businesses. Two of my favorite places in Oakland, Drift Denim and The Parkway Speakeasy Theater are closing at the end of the week. Both announcements were made suddenly (I learned about the Parkway this morning) and for me, a person who really patronizes local businesses and develops relationships with the workers and owners, it's really disheartening. In the face of this, as well as hearing about million dollar bonuses for insufficient work, it's been a pretty disheartening week. 

There have been some bright spots. I've accomplished a lot at work this week and I'm preparing to go to NY and see my family and some amazing friends. Then there's Fug Madness (an easy way to chase away some blues) and new episodes of Lost and Scrubs. But overall, things have been steadily losing their shine. I'm not a shiny, happy person but I'm not dark & twisty either. I just wish I had some solutions. Or at least an answer or two. 

I'm working all this weekend (I gotta eat too) but I'm going to try my hardest to make it to these establishments before they close and give a little to make sure they close with some dignity and the knowledge that they were loved and enjoyed. 

Ciao. 

How Much for Happy

This article started up a shit-storm over at Jezebel today. And to be honest it's something I've been contemplating. Not so much comparing myself to my friends based on accomplishments but definitely in terms of finances. I have a shitload of friends with no jobs, in school who are traveling and living it up while I'm struggling to hold on to my studio apartment and pay my bills. It's not that I feel unaccomplished but my life does seem like it would be easier and more carefree if I was back in school.

At the same time school feels like a hideout. A place to be easy and carefree while others do the working. And really, if I don't have a plan or some place I really love, school seems like a complete and total waste of money. And though it's fun now, I'm sure all my schooled friends will be busting their asses to pay back school loans that they are currently blowing on Spring Break trips.

That being what it is, I've come to terms with who I am and where I'm at emotionally but not physically. I refuse to set arbitrary dates in terms of my professional or personal life. For instance, I'm 25 and I've never been in a serious relationship but I've never seen this as an inadequacy on my part. Mainly the guys that I've been with haven't been emotionally ready or they weren't men I wanted to be in a relationship with. The Boy was the closest I've come to actually wanting to date someone, which in my mind means taking that person into consideration when I make decisions, so it's not a small step for me. But I will admit to being frustrated at where I am physically in my life. I don't think I want to be in Oakland anymore. I want to take my chances in L.A. or outside of the country. I hate feeling stagnant and that is where I am right now. I feel trapped by bills and fear of job insecurity (because we've already established that I do not have anything to fall back on). And I hate feeling this way because, I don't have a kid, or a boyfriend or a well-paying job so why should I feel stuck? By what? I think the one fear I really have to be ready to let go of is the fear of being uncomfortable. It might take sleeping on some couches and hustling a bit more to be and do what I want. And I can't be afraid of that.

Who missed the memo?

2009 is supposed to be the year of change, hope and innovation. That's what we've been hearing about and with the inauguration of President-Elect Obama looming, this was supposed to signal a turning point for race relations in this country. So why was a Black man shot by a police officer while he was on his stomach with his hands behind his back on the very first day of this year of hope?

Since the shooting of Oscar Grant, no action has been taken by the BART police or the city of Oakland to investigate or prosecute the officer who fired his gun. Despite video evidence that is splashed across news media and YouTube, the officer has been allowed to resign and the mayor only released a statement after protests turned to near riots. All this only 7 days into the year of change.

Sadder still is the story of Kalynn Moore, a New Jersey mother who not only experienced the sudden death of her son in childbirth but was further horrified to learn that the hospital had thrown the infant's body out with the trash. And to top it all off, the hospital has given up the search for the body.

I am not a person who likes to shout racism, every time a Black person is wronged but these are two situations where not only the authorities but the media have failed to do what they are charged to. Oscar Grant was a young father who was shot in the back, yet no steps have been taken to investigate his death, and the media has chosen to portray him and the people of Oakland as thuggish and deserving of such treatment. Kalynn Moore has seen first hand that the people in power view both her and her child as disposable not even worthy of search that lasted more than a week. I hate to sound pessimistic but I honestly believe if this child had been White, there would have been a prolonged and exhaustive search for its body. It would be national news and people would be holding vigils. Because that is the value of a White life in this country.

If we hope that 2009 will truly be a year of change then we need to be that change. The United States has been talking about an American dream that cannot be realized when the lives of some Americans are worth more than others. I'm happy for President Obama but we are not all Barack Obama, we're much closer to being Oscar Grants and Kalynn Moores. "Hope"fully, that will "change".

Uncharted Territory

So I'm back (a day late and more than a dollar short) but here's my report on the "Places in the Bay that have kept me from slitting my wrists during my first summer away from NY". That's a wordy title, how about My Best of the Bay:

Let's start in San Francisco. SF for me is all about food, drinks and shopping. One of my favorite places to eat (because it was right across the street from my job) is Circa in the Marina. They have a wonderful happy hour that includes $5 appetizers. My favorite is the calamari. And their chef, Erik King was on the latest season of Top Chef. There's also Silver Cloud for kareoke and the Bus Stop up on Union for old-fashioned bar feel.

SF has no shortage of shopping districts but I particularly like making the hike up Fillmore. You never know what bargains you might find at the Marc Jacobs store. There's smaller boutiques like Heidi Says and it's sister Heidi Say Shoes and frankly it's just a nice walk. Hayes Valley has a similar feel and some of my favorite shops like Flight 001 and Isotope, the comic book lounge. The people there are always helpful and they have a great comic selection.

Finally, there's The Mission. I enjoy eating in the Mission because there are a million and one tacquerias. But more important than that are some of the bars and restaurants like Cha Cha Cha, which has great tapas (and another Haight Street location if the first is crowded). The Mission to me is like the Village. You have to wander a bit and find the gems.

Now on to the East Bay: There's the conventional Emeryville which has everything you need in one convenient place; IKEA, H&M, Sephora, Borders, etc. But there are also some nice surprises like Teacake (try the pink velvet cupcakes!) and EQ3 which is one of my favorite furniture shops.

Then there's Lakeshore the best place to walk around on a Sunday. There's the new Trader Joe's, Arizmendi Bakery and my favorite consignment shop, Maribel. The Grand Lake Theater is a good place to catch a movie with free popcorn Monday-Thursday and the cheapest matinee around at $6.50. But if you're over 21 and want to catch a movie the best place is the Parkway theater. Giant couches, an impressive menu and food delivered to you while you watch your favorite films.

Finally, Downtown Oakland is filled with hot spots. Luka's is the best place to get a burger and fries, listen to music and have a great cocktail especially every Friday night. Oasis (135 12th street) is hot on Saturday nights. Don't let the entrance fool you. Head out back where there's a huge dance floor and outdoor patio. During the day check out Mignonne and Drift for a range of housewares and casual chic clothes, respectively. Probably the best restaurant if you want to splurge a bit on a fabulous meal is B. I love the lemon tart dessert. And my absolute favorite is Air Lounge. Every Wednesday night head out early (around 8 pm) to their spoken word-open mic where you'll hear a range of voices. Stay after for a great hip-hop dance party and head over to the bar and have a jolly rancher. But not too many.

These are the places I've come to enjoy out here in the Bay. And I'm glad. Each one makes me miss home a little bit less.

[Shananigans] in the City

This is my first summer spent away from NYC since I was about 10. When I was young my mom would send me down South to be with my great-grandparents but I always got to spend some part of the summer at home. And to me, nothing is better than New York in the summertime. Some people complain about the humidity, the over-powering scent of heat and people but still I love it. So I thought I'd post,
The Places I'd Be If I Was In NY:

1. The Meatpacking District
Pop Burger (58-60 Ninth Avenue) is one of my favorite after/between club spots. Since it's a club and a burger stand in one you can listen to music while you eat or go inside and have a drink. There's also APT (419 W 13th St.). It's set up like someone's (very swank) apartment and it's a great place to meet for pre-outing drinks.

2. Broadway-SoHo/Union Square
I spent many a summer walking from Canal St. to Union Square via Broadway. There's so much to see and it's perfect for shopping. Some of my favorite stops along the way are Pearl River Mart (477 Broadway) as well as big retailers such as Armani Exchange, H&M and Zara's. You can veer off at Prince St. for high-end retailers like Chanel and Barney's Co-op. And don't forget the hundreds of street sellers along the way. There's also movies at the Angelika (18 West Houston). Right before you hit Union Square there's Forbidden Planet (840 Broadway) the comic book shop. And once you reach the park, there's a farmer's market that's great to wander around.

3. 5th Avenue
5th Ave. is one of those places I came to appreciate after I worked there. Plus with the tourists crowding up 42nd street, it's much better to walk east. I love the lower level of Rockefeller Center with its restaurants like Cucina & Co. Also if you walk towards the park you'll pass all the famous NY landmarks like Tiffany's and at the very end is the amazing 5th Avenue-Apple Store, which is an architectural marvel on the edge of Central Park.

4. The Village
What can I say about the Village? There's something new every time I go. I like to start at the W4th stop on the A/B/C/D trains and walk from there. Basically, take your time and just wander. I enjoy Harry's Burritos (76 West 3rd) and also Negril (70 West 3rd) for after work/pre-party drinks. And the IFC Film Center has interesting films and special events like the Buffy Sing-Along.

5. Brooklyn
Brooklyn is where I'm from so I'm pretty biased when I say it's the best place in NY ... but it's still true. Some of my favorite places to visit are the Cobble Hill Cinema (265 Court Street) and Prospect Park (450 Flatbush Avenue). There's the ever-classic Coney Island (last stop on the D, Q, N, or F trains). Coney Island has everything: The original Nathan's, rides, nightly fireworks and enough hot dogs, burgers and cotton candy to make anyone sickly happy.

Those are pretty much the places you can find me during a New York summer. I also have to mention the Water Taxi Beach (Vernon Blvd/Jackson Ave. stop on the 7 train), which is the best place to go and watch the sunset over the city.

Tomorrow, I'll talk about the wonderful places that I've found out here in the Bay Area that have made my first summer away from NY bearable.