Real sleep is an elusive lover. Some days I wake up refreshed and wonderful, other days I might as well have stayed up. The next month is going to be hellish. I have meetings, events, fundraisers and who knows what else will crop up (illnesses, etc.), so I'm trying to figure out now, what I can do to make my sleep more fulfilling.
I think one thing that might help is making sure that if I drink in the evening, it's well before I go to bed. I know alcohol helps me fall asleep but I definitely don't feel well-rested after a night of drinking.
Another thing is really turning off my brain. One of the problems of working with kids is that it's hard to leave work at work. Some times I find myself thinking about what happened during the day and/or how I can make the next day go better and it's hard to let things go so that I'm not stressed or even dreaming about work, which is the worst.
Finally, I think I need to have more sex. I never sleep better than I do after sex. That's just a fact. So, more sex.
I was supposed to make this update last night but clearly I'm a boob. but here's my (very late) Saturday update about WILFs (White Guys I'd Like to F ...). I wouldn't say that I have anything against any race or ethnicity when it comes to men. But when it comes to white guys, there are definitely certain types that I find attractive and everyone else kind of falls to the wayside.
First there's The Bad Boy, as typified by Charlie Hunnam as Jax Teller in Sons of Anarchy. There's something about a slightly scraggly guy, bucking conventions and riding a big motorcycle that spells sexy.
Then there's The Surfer. It's a certain body type, lean yet muscled. A kind of tanned and windswept look as well as a cocky yet relaxed attitude. Probably best illustrated by Paul Walker.
Third is The Thinker. This guy is all in his head, slightly self-deprecating. He's simple and a bit sensitive but most of all intellectual. I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt fits this description to a tee.
Next in line is The Brooder. Similar to the bad boy but more lost than bad. He's the Jordan Catalano, sexy mysterious and all you want to do is help him find a way home. Cam Gigandet is deinitely a brooder.
And finally, there's The Dancer. As a dancer myself, I find most men who can dance sexy but since the stereotype of white men is generally rhythmless, there's something about a white guy who can get down. Robert Hoffman is the best example of this because he's an amazing dancer and choreographer as well as a generally funny guy. A winning combination. As a bonus I thought I'd through in his choreography reel which is just fun to watch.
Recently, there was an outrage over at Jezebel due to two of its editors. Tracie and Moe, appearing on a local show called Thinking & Drinking and, taking the latter part to heart, the former took a backseat to some questionable comments. The interview then caused a lot of lamentation about the editors letting down girls & women who saw them as their new "feminist heroes" and others wondering why anyone would see these women as such in the first place.
Moe has since moved from Jezebel to Gawker.com, although I believe she will still continue to do some of her regular Jezebel features. Tracie on her personal blog eventually posted this statement where she questioned the idea of whether there can be a "good" or "bad" feminist. Although I found her final post on the topic to be the most well-thought out and honest viewpoint of the situation, her blog was littered with comments such as:
You are putting women, not even feminists, to shame with your attitude, outlook, and disregard. You words are trash and shouldn't be taken with any more validity than a cheap add in a porno mag.
and:
You're not a "bad feminist"...you're just an immature, cold, insensitive, self-centered bitch
Now while I do believe everyone is entitled to their opinions, I find that when addressing the issue of feminism, many women seem to believe that they have the definitive or the authentic feminism locked up somewhere. And throwing around the words "bitch", "whore" and "slut" don't help anyone.
Am I not a feminist (or a "bad" feminist) because I haven't read the literature? Is my feminism less authentic because I believe that being a good mother is the best job a woman can do? (On an aside: I also believe that being a good father is the best job a man can do. When you work with children, you realize how important good parenting is.)
I'm just wondering because it seems as though feminism, the way it has been set up, is still largely about middle-upper class white women who have time to contemplate these issues and denounce other women who don't because they are trying to survive economically or a stay-at-home mom or a sex worker or something else that doesn't jibe with the idea of a woman throwing down her apron and entering the workforce.
As I see it, the truth is that it's different for girls. There's always going to be a barrier to breakdown, an image to overcome, a double standard to navigate. But lately it seems like women are throwing extra barriers at each other to further judge your authenticity. I believe that a women should be able to have responsible sex with as many people as she wants, but I don't think anyone should be running around putting their sexuality in people's faces (male or female). I think a woman can do any job a man can do if she puts her mind to it. I also think there is a certain grace and beauty that women have and that should never be lost in the attempt to "equal" men. I don't know what kind of feminist that makes me but I also believe that this whole thing is a process. And it's still happening everyday.
Full interview of Thinking & Drinking (I really suggest watching the entire thing as the clips are a bit taken out of context): Shoot the Messenger
Initially, I was going to be coy and not post anything about the results of "The Talk" but since I kind of feel thrown for a loop, I had to get this out. The title of this post comes from an episode of Lost. In the episode, the "freighties" are being assembled for the first time to go to the Island and you see them all hearing that everyone on Oceanic Flight 815 is confirmed dead. The interesting part is that the audience knows that 815 crash-landed on the island and there are a bunch of survivors.
That's how I feel right now. Everything in my head is telling me that this relationship, or whatever it is, is dead. My heart is telling me there are survivors. The crazy thing is (if we want to continue this metaphor to its conclusion) of the freighties who go to the island: two die, one ends up (we think) stuck at sea and two decide to stay. And they all go through a helluva lot before that happens. The odds are not in my favor.
So here's the way the talk went down, after some (very good) sex, we were watching tv and talking and I, oh so casually, asked where he thought we were right now. Basically, I tried to assure him that I wasn't trying to push for things to change but I just wanted to know where we stood now. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship (which I knew) and that he's concerned about being exclusive because that equates a relationship to him (which it doesn't necessarily to me). And then I got the answer that I was not expecting, he's also seeing someone else.
See I had made the assumption (I know when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of 'u' and 'mption'), that like me, he hadn't had the time to cultivate anything else with someone or wasn't looking to. Looking back it's not exactly a surprise. I had some idea when my toothbrush (which he asked me to bring over) moved from the bathroom cabinet to the closet next to the bathroom. And although I'm not angry that he's having sex with someone else (he's incredibly safe so I'm not worried too much about that), I think it would have been courteous to let me know. I mean, we see each other pretty often, and it does make me a bit uncomfortable to know that a partner I sleep with regularly is (probably) regularly seeing and (having sex with) someone else.
But most of all, I'm disappointed. I don't really want what we have to change. I enjoy his company, I enjoy his friendship, I most definitely enjoy the sex but I don't know how I feel about him seeing someone else. And my curiosity is making me want to ask soooo many questions, which is the last thing that he wants.
So what do I want? That's the question that I can't answer right now. I don't know if this thing is confirmed dead or if there are survivors lying around somewhere that just haven't been found yet.
*One of my little quirks is that I know A LOT of television episode titles. I was thinking about making those the titles of my posts. I'm still trying to decide if I should stick with one show or just pull them from various shows as is appropriate.
Real sleep is an elusive lover. Some days I wake up refreshed and wonderful, other days I might as well have stayed up. The next month is going to be hellish. I have meetings, events, fundraisers and who knows what else will crop up (illnesses, etc.), so I'm trying to figure out now, what I can do to make my sleep more fulfilling.
