100 Issues for 100 Days: #81

#81: Esperanza

Tonight I went to an SFJazz show. The artist was Esperanza Spalding, who is a wonderfully beautiful and talented bassist. The 23-year old is wildly entertaining and her performance was the epitome of casual and relatable even in a 1,000 seat venue. But mostly, she's just chill in that, I-wanna-hang-with-you way.

She has this song Precious which I love (also check out Cuerpo y Alma). My favorite part is the line:

But I'm not gonna sit around/And waste my precious divine energy/Trying to explain/And being ashamed of things /You think are wrong with me.

The first part rings so true. I'm not going to continue to waste my precious, divine energy on things that are weighing me down. And the second part, worrying about things that others think are wrong with me, is also just a waste of time. When she sang those words tonight it was all I could do not to jump up and shout "Yes!".

And although I've been complaining about my life being pretty dry, tonight was definitely an exception. I laughed and joked, and most of all I had fun. I think it's fitting that esperanza means "hope" because I definitely felt that tonight.

I also think I'm going to have to add her to the list of style icons. Her hair is to be envied and I loved her laid-back outfit (jeans, flats, white tank and oversized scarf). I suggest you check her out.

100 Issue for 100 Days: #17

#17: Jacob I Have Loved

Television and literature have always been locked in a competition for my affection. Both can easily tap into my emotions so much so that I've been known to full-on sob on the bus over Dumbledore's death and also wake up out of a dead sleep in tears because Denny Duquette suffered a heart attack. But there's very few times when these two passions collide. Luckily, I've found one place where they always do and it's Television Without Pity. In particular, one writer has managed to take the simple television recap to the height of literary critique and that's Jacob.

He is who I aspire to be. Every time I watch an episode of Weeds or Gossip Girl I can't wait until I can read his recaps because I know they will take the analysis of the episode to a level that will inevitably make me love the episode even more. After watching the season finale of Weeds, I went to TWoP to discover that Jacob had titled his recaplet "The Brief and Wonderous Life of Pilar Zuzuao", a play on the Junot Diaz novel The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao. Where else can I get my geek fix so easily?

Beyond clever wordplay and literary references, reading a Jacob recap is like eating thinly sliced himachi tuna with honeydew melon and sea salt on a summer day. That is to say: sublime. When discussing True Blood, where else can I find insight like:

But you don't go home. You go to a new place every time. While she was away, the world became wild. The old safe places became not so safe; the old hiding places were touched with madness. The uncanny began to invade; the uncanny was invited in. She reached out and touched his fangs, and offered him her throat ....Welcome in, it says on the left, and FUCK OFF, it says on the right: You don't go home, and welcome home.

That is the beauty of his writing. It's haunting and keen in a way that makes you feel like you've just watched something completely different and MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT. His recaps for half-hour shows are at least 12 pages long and the hour-long dramas (if it's a great episode) can run from 20-36! I've happily downloaded songs, rented films, run internet searches and broke open a dictionary because of a recap.

Reading this today inspired me to write this post:

And so in the finale, of all places, we're finally being told outright what we could have been watching all this time: Pilar is the U-Turn that Nancy couldn't overlook, because she is a woman. She uses all the tools Nancy has and lots of tools Nancy doesn't have, and has been creeping unseen into every aspect of Nancy's life until she's not sure who the Boss really is. .... Pilar exists as a powerful woman, then, to deconstruct and transcend the Nancy/Men and Men/Boys binaries that Nancy's been operating on (in Jungian terms, she's the tertium non datur, the irrational symbol that transcends the signified opposites, allowing Nancy to bring the possibility of a new path up into consciousness)*. And that would have been a great story, and it's the story we're being told we got, but it's not actually the story we got.

*Emphasis mine.

After reading this (and looking up the term: tertium non datur), I realized I was left with two choices: acknowledge this amazing writer or not. And I chose the former.

The first time I reveled in the genius that I was reading was during a Gossip Girl recap titled "When U Were a Fever". I followed the winding prose that built like the fever described in the episode until I landed at the end:

How bad does it get, in the dark places? And just before the music goes crazy and the fever returns, and the camera away from the two of them every fourth beat, back and up the staircase, before everybody watching goes: "The fuck!?" and starts screaming, Serena says: "I killed someone."

That was exactly how I felt watching the episode. The building of suspense until you're on the edge of your seat wondering what the FUCK has been going on and then that moment of reveal right before the credits just like the weekly "thud" that ends every episode of Lost. But the awe-inspiring realization is that all of that was recaptured in someone's analysis of the episode. You don't have to watch it again because it's all astutely laid out for you in the place you were least expecting. And that is what I love.

100 Issues for 100 Days: #4

#4 Lighten Up ...*

... It's just FASHION! In honor of Project Runway's return to the airwaves, I thought I'd talk about personal style. Lately, I've been working my way through the latest issue of Marie Claire. I say, "working my way" because it's surprisingly dense. I've never read an issue of the magazine before so I was surprised by the depth and breadth of the articles. And as I'm nearing the end of the issue, I'm find myself caught up in the fashion spreads and inspired by their cover girl, Ashley Olsen.

I'll admit, I've always been a fan of the Olsen twins. I grew up on Full House and although I was more of a "Stephanie" or a "DJ", I always had a special place in my heart for Michelle Tanner and I'd hunker down on a Sunday and watch many an Olsen twin flick on ABCFamily. But I've never seen either girl as a fashion icon, until now.

Although both of their lines Elizabeth and James and The Row are very high-end (read: More than I'll ever be able to afford unless that sugar daddy thing comes through *fingers crossed*), what struck me was Ashley's philosophy on style. she admitted readily to cutting up dresses or jackets worth thousands to create the right fit. And she holds on to every piece of clothing she's ever owned. And at the end of the day she wears what feels right to her. You have to admire that.

One thing that I'm really striving for this fall is to take more risks with my weekend fashion. Given my job it's a little hard to be too avant garde during the week but I'd like to try more out. Finding new ways to wear my clothes (I have enough) and focusing on buying new things that I need and not things that are trendy. I may never have the closet that Ashley Olsen has but I can adopt some of her quirks. And we all need to lighten up ... it's just fashion.

*I know this was a bit late but I got home and crashed after work. I'll update again later in the day.

Death to AutoTune

So as the spring moves into summer (and I have some free time on my hands), I'm back here to blog and share.

It's been one week since Michael Jackson left this earth and it's become clear to me, mourning is almost never about the person who died. How else do you explain an entire world of people (including myself) who eight days ago probably couldn't say the words Michael Jackson without a snicker or derisive snort, crying and clamoring for that same man.

Will Michael be missed? Yes, of course. But I have to admit that my sadness (and it's still here, it has lingered) comes from all the great memories that I've associated with this man and his music. I want to say that it's all about him but that would be a lie and the time for lies is over. I am sincerely sad but moreso than for a man I'm sad for a spirit that was battered and broken by his family, by fame and probably never fully felt the joy that he brought to so many. That's what saddens me still, a week later.

I've been watching music videos since then. First the many tributes to Michael and then as music channels segued back into their regular rotation, I got a chance to "catch up" on what I've been missing and the sad fact is music is gasping for it's last breath. I won't deny the innovators but with them being so few and far between or in some cases unconsumed, what is the future for music? When people stand up and thank the people who have inspired them will they name a Young Jeezy or an Ace Hood? (Please, Jesus no) And even those that claim to be inspired by the greats are producing music as indiscernible and easily consumed and digested as popcorn.

Though I'm still mourning the loss of Michael Jackson and watch in dismay as the tabloids and 24-hour press tear him apart for the sake of a story, one tidbit did cheer me up. UsWeekly reported that while Michael's children were homeschooled, he himself tutored them in art, music and African-American history. I can't think of anyone better :)

I Will Remember You

Every year I avoid 9/11. I either spend the majority of the day in my house watching television (something completely innocuous) or I turn off the tv and avoid major news outlets, etc. I don't like to remember that day. And it's actually a lot easier to do in California. But today I woke up and they were airing an episode of Iconoclasts* on the Sundance Channel which featured Renee Zelleweger interviewing Christian Amanpour.

They talked a lot about the news media's role in the world as truth-tellers. Obviously Amanpour is a shining example of that. They discussed Rwanda and Amanpour's personal guilt about the media not stepping in and eventually they talked about 9/11. They walked throughout the construction site for the new tower and memorial park and they discussed how the media, in deference to the experience we'd all gone through, tempered their reporting and only now were they slowly building back to the way it had been. That really made me think. Amanpour said that there was an Edward R. Murrow quote that she uses as her mantra:

This instrument [television] can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire, but it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.

This quote means everything today. I think the reason why I avoid 9/11 every year is because I get so sick of seeing politicians using this medium to capitolize on a tragedy. At the same time, I'm conflicted because sometimes I use that "box" to avoid hearing or seeing anything of any significance. To be honest, I don't think the news media is getting better. I think that if The Daily Show wasn't funny (and therefore didn't pull in ratings), we wouldn't have a true unbiased news outlet. The media is supposed to act "without fear or favor". We always want to talk about how Americans have freedom of the press but do we have an unbiased press? No.

I'm not sure where or what I'll be doing next September 11th but I'm going to try not to avoid it. I hope that this country will have progressed and that journalists will be holding our government leaders accountable but mostly I hope that it won't hurt so much to remember.

*If you've never seen it Iconoclasts is a really great show that pairs celebrities with their idols to conduct an interview. One of my favorite episodes is Alicia Keys & Ruby Dee.